RULE #5: Contentment is Completion

Do you recall the feeling you experienced the last time you FINALLY finished something? Maybe you made that phone call… or you wrote that paper… or you finished up a chore that’s been staring you in the face for days or weeks. Whatever step of the project or however long it had been weighing on your mind, the moment, the very second it’s done, there’s a breath that escapes the body. It’s a physical indication that says, “Whew! That’s done!”

There’s contentment in that moment of awareness when you complete some portion of interest in your life. Think about it.

You might plan to do a bit of yard work, just a small task in the overall scheme of things. Until you do it, you carry that project around in your mind, and maybe your muscles, until you finally go outside and get it done. Your whole body relaxes with the knowing that it’s “off your list.” You look around at how nice it looks. You might even start fantasizing about what you’re going to do next. Maybe.

Or you say you’re going to call your mom or dad or distant child, but keep putting it off until you get one more thing done, when the moment is right…except, you can’t really concentrate on those other tasks or might not even feel good about doing them, because of the nagging voice in your head, reminding you of the one really important call to make. And you know how happy you are when you finally make that call? Even if all you can do is to leave a voice mail message? Yeah…that’s the feeling of contentment.

Whether the plans before you are to go watch a special movie, read a book, go for a walk, practice the piano, take a class…or…involves more long-term goals like finish your degree, start a business, write a book, go on vacation, plan a wedding, or build a house… the level of contentment can vary and often mirrors the magnitude of the endeavor.

Frankly, I’ve become so enamored by the feeling of contentment (call it an addiction, if you will) that it now motivates me to complete whatever I can each day and then pause for a moment of recognition… not only to celebrate all that’s been released from my consciousness, but also to check-in with whatever weight I might still be carrying around, and to address it right then and there. Additional release might involve scheduling the task on my calendar or to dismiss it from my mind’s ownership altogether.

I’m making progress. I’m getting my things done. And I’m minding my own business about what I think others are supposed to be doing. I’m connecting with loved ones and art and nature more often. My life has become fuller, healthier, and less stressful. My self-esteem is stronger; I’m more confident. The nagging critical voice in my head is quieter. My energy is going in a positive direction and the results are, well, amazing! Contentment IS completion.

Give it a try. Pick something on the “I’ve got to get this done list” in your head and finish it! Then, stop for a moment… and notice how your body’s tension on that matter disappears, how the ego voice fades into the distance, and how your soul just beams with satisfaction. My guess is it won’t be long before you to want to repeat that feeling of happy contentment and complete something else. Go ahead. What a great way to live life!

RULE #4: Watch Your Feet

Rule #4 is about setting boundaries and moving forward… thus it’s important to watch your feet, to know where to place them metaphorically, what your personal limits are, or where you would “draw the line in the sand” in any given situation. We all have limits. We are in charge of choosing our direction, too. It just depends what the situation is or who is involved as to what each of those might be.

Years ago I had the opportunity to dabble in the sport of rock climbing, mostly bouldering. The highest cliff I faced was only 30 to 40 feet high. Put a few of those on top of each other and you have a good-sized mountain.

However, my goal was not to climb Mt. Everest. I simply wanted to get over my fear of heights and this seemed like a logical way to do it. Through the guidance of a qualified instructor and lots of practice, I learned the importance of where to place my hands and feet… one hand, one foot at a time.

Each foot placement was important no matter how high off the ground I was. Each solid step onto the side of the rock meant that I could move up, down or sideways in the direction of my choosing. I then could reach out with my hand and grab hold of even the smallest protrusion to give myself balance and additional stability while each foot, in turn, found the next foundation of support. There was a very good chance that, if my foot slipped, my hand or fingers may not hold my body’s weight and I could fall. The rope was the backup plan, not something to swing from or rely upon.

I faced my fear. Through repeated movements (and instruction and rope/harness gear) I gained the confidence that allowed me to move from bouldering two feet off the ground to climbing a 40-foot cliff. I became strong in body and spirit. I discovered my physical limits and mental boundaries. I was humbled by the rock and empowered by the experience. I grew in self-assurance and faith and moved forward in other life challenges.

We have limits all around us. There are financial limits… how much money you choose to spend on something; what you’re willing to loan to a family member. There are relationship limits… what you’re willing to contribute emotionally to a partner; how long you tolerate a certain unacceptable behavior of a spouse or child. There are many opportunities that prompt a person to stand up to a situation and say “Enough is enough!”

But do you have limits to how much Good you’re willing to let into your life? Do you put a cap on a great idea because of fear? Are there things that would really help you or improve your life but you’re not willing to accept them for yourself? Where do you “stand” in your core values and beliefs?

Setting boundaries or limits can do two things: 1) keep something away that could harm us; or 2) keep us away from our own Good. It’s important to recognize the difference and to know when to change the situation as needed for our highest and best experience.

For most of us…Feet are the body’s instrument upon which we stand. Feet are strong enough to hold up our bodies for hours every day. Feet are the tools that help us drive our cars – accelerator or brake – go forward or stop. Feet are the means that allow us to move in the world, to get from one place to another and to change course at will. Feet move us in many directions and can traverse all types of terrain. Feet provide us with the awareness of a solid foundation, balance, and stability.

Watch your feet. Give yourself the best foundation you’re able. Know your boundaries and move forward in life with confidence and faith.

RULE #3: Maintain Order

If you look around in the world of Mother Nature (the Universe), you will find a natural order to life. One season follows another. A seed comes before the mature plant and before the blossom or fruit. Day and night may happen simultaneously, but only on opposite sides of the planet. A baby learns to roll over or crawl before it can walk. We learn simple math or grammar skills before moving on to more complex concepts. The point is there is a natural order to life.

The same can be said for the way we grow spiritually. We must have some type of awareness or yearning, something that beckons our attention about God before we open our minds to more expansive investigation of the spiritual or religious realm. There is an order to the way we deepen our understanding. There is an order, a process, in the development of our beliefs …in the way we pray and the depth to which we go …in how we connect with Divine Intelligence.

What I have discovered for myself and from what other spiritual seekers have shared is that whatever idea of God was learned in childhood was eventually put under the microscope of doubt …at least for awhile.

Whether it was in the inquisitive teenage years when everything that our parents taught was tossed aside and relearned later …or whether we just forgot about it until those middle-age years when the idea of mortality becomes more of a reality of living.

There’s an order, a progression, a process of learning and exploring and understanding that builds upon itself in a step-by-step fashion of testing, acceptance, and trust.

We don’t (usually) become suddenly enlightened about the entire spiritual realm all at once. We journey into that head and heart and soul space one tentative step at a time. Each bit of information that can be tested, is. Each book or lecture or teacher than can be challenged, is. We do this until we’re sure it’s time to take the next step. Rarely do we run with complete abandon head-on towards God until the path has first been tested.

Perhaps the order we’re compelled to test and then maintain is really to offset the chaotic questioning provided by the doubting ego. In its attempt to remain in control of our fears and thinking patterns, it tosses dust storms of doubt in front of us and obscures our vision to see ourselves as more than just a trembling human body in this world of challenge and triumph. In an effort to break free of the chaos and the distorted view, to discover something bigger than ourselves, we begin to accept an invisible and powerful nature that lives in us and in everyone else. The Power back of all things.

Through a greater awareness and a trust in the Divine, we open ourselves to greater potentiality and find we can create a life of unlimited possibilities, one step at a time. We maintain order. We discover peace in the confusion and purpose in the fragments of our focus. The puzzle of our life is put together and we embrace the loving truth within our own beautiful soul.

Spirit is always there, waiting for our willingness to connect and explore. It is the order of things, now …and yet to come.

Rule #2: There are NO “do-overs” in Life

Have you ever heard the lesson about how each time you step into a stream, it’s a different stream? This lesson speaks to the fact that the water in the stream is different, the rocks on the bottom may have moved, the temperature can vary, the way you walk may be unusual, and even your perspective of how you view the stream can be different from the first time it happened.

With this idea in mind, it occurred to me that Life is like that, too. We may repeat habits or patterns, think similar ideas, have on-going behaviors or relationships that don’t change for years…or so we lead ourselves to believe. The fact is, we change from minute to minute. We become wiser, more experienced, more aware.

A first-time endeavor is only a “first-time” once. Your first day of work happens only once, no matter how long you’re there or how many different jobs you have. A first kiss can happen just one time.

You can certainly repeat the experience with different people or places of employment, thereby experiencing the “newness” of that particular incident with other variables, but you cannot go back to that first time of anything or go back in time to repeat a specific act because time keeps passing on. Once something has been done, you cannot go back in time and do it over. The next time you repeat a behavior or experience is brand new and in a new moment.

As chronological time passes, this new, NOW moment is really all we have to work with. We may gain much experience and wisdom about how to do things, how the world works, and hopefully who we are as a person. However, there is absolutely no way to go back and do anything over again without having the memory, wisdom or experience of having done that something before.

Life has no do-overs. Not really. What you DO have is the ability to do things better the second or third or fourth time around. You may get lots of practice in certain endeavors, yet each is happening in a brand new moment with a greater (albeit familiar) sense of understanding about that activity. Each new moment, each new experience, comes with the opportunity to create anew!

You don’t have to do things the same way time after time. Life…Creation…God…certainly does not. We’re told that EVERY snowflake is of a unique design. So is EVERY human being on earth. Trees and animals may share a species name, and even look quite identical, but I would venture to say that even those creations are unique in their existence.

There are no do-overs in Life. No matter what has happened yesterday…no matter what messes or amends you may have to clean up…each moment of living is another opportunity to start over, to start fresh. What a gift that is! We’re not stuck in a rut unless we put ourselves there…with old thought patterns and ways of being. Who would really want to have everything be the same forever anyway!

The first thing we can change is our perspective, our way of viewing Life. Begin there. Change your thinking and see how it impacts the moments you’re living…one by one…each as bright with possibilities as the sunrise. Step into the light. Clear away old, stuffy ways of creating and being and doing. Build from them, remember what still provides direction and is valuable to you. Step into the stream of Life and surrender to the Now!

Rule #1: Consider fully the seeds you plant

It’s summer and, thus, gardening season for me. I spend most early mornings outside with a shovel, dirt, plants, and many ideas. The time with Mother Nature is very healing and also inspiring, providing answers and guidelines by which to live all parts of life. So, today begins my “List of Rules” by which to live and create a life of quality, simplicity, balance, and wholeness.

Gardening (and Life) Rule # 1 : Consider fully the seeds you plant.

Seeds, like thoughts, have far-reaching effects once they take root. I’m not talking about the fleeting thoughts, the ones that are gone as fast as they arrive, but the ones that you continue to mull over in your brain and that take root in your being. You start talking about them with your family and friends or posting them on social media…and then you begin to live them out loud.

By the time you get to the point where you are endorsing your thoughts and ideas with action, I would pray that the effects of your behavior are positive and uplifting rather than hurtful or intrusive.

Years ago I planted a lovely shrub, known as Russian Sage. This plant is drought tolerant, rabbit resistant, and self-propagating. It has oily, light green leaves and stems with small purple flowers similar to lavender, including its scent. The shrub can grow to a height and width of about two feet. And then the baby shrubs start showing up.

Left unattended for the most part, which I did for several years, the baby sage stems expand from the main plant at what seems to be an amazing rate…until at last…they’re growing in the grass, the flower beds, between rocks, and everywhere their underground root system can go.

All of a sudden (not really), this lovely shrub has become an invasive nuisance…simply because I was not paying attention to the way it was manifesting right in front of me. I did nothing about it and it took over. The effort to remove the additional growth as it was happening would have been relatively easy to do. However, after years of rampant expansion and unmonitored growth, digging out the deep and woody roots from the compacted clay takes hours and hours of difficult shoveling and intensive labor.

The same is level of effort is necessary in our human thinking when we discover certain patterns of thought are impacting our lives in unhealthy ways. It’s often hard work. Sometimes we need help.

We may need to have someone point out to us that a behavior or comment we make so casually is actually very hurtful, not funny, or unloving. Sometimes our reasons to “help” someone (especially with adult children) are actually a method to retain control over them. Whatever justification we tell ourselves to stay angry and resentful about something only plants deeper and more painful thorns of hurt around our lonely hearts. Left unchecked, such detrimental thoughts, words, and behaviors will eventually invade all areas of your life with sad and negative results.

The parent shrub I planted years ago was only doing what it was made to do: live, expand, blossom, etc. It did not require assistance from me to grow. Nothing negative about that.  It only became intrusive when I stopped paying attention to its patterns of growth and did nothing to correct it…up until now.

The same is true about a thought. Which ones are you paying attention to? Feeding and nurturing? Or weeding and removing (healing, forgiving) from your consciousness?

When I started this shrub-removal project a few days ago, I swore I’d NEVER plant that sage shrub again. I’ve changed my mind.  I will. I like the plant and the lessons it has provided. It is a “sage” after all. But it will be planted in a container that allows it to grow without becoming invasive and that I can more easily monitor.

Stay vigilant. Be aware. Make the effort to clean up those thoughts that no longer serve your highest Good, your God-Self. Consider fully the seeds you plant.

Up & Down the Rabbit Hole

One of the gifts of going through challenging circumstances – ones that sometimes feel like we’re falling down a deep, dark hole – is to discover what we’re made of. How do we react or respond in those situations? Do we come from fear or do we meet the situation with wonder and curiosity and resolve?

As I drove my large SUV down the highway one evening recently, a weird noise started coming from the front part of the vehicle. At first I was curious. I didn’t go into panic mode until it sounded like something was falling out in bits from the engine and bouncing away under the vehicle. A roadside inspection revealed nothing – no leaks, no obvious broken parts, no damage to the truck. Yet each time I pulled back onto the highway, there was a new alertness in my being, waiting for the sound. It did not disappoint my expectations.

Fortunately, I was able to make it home safely that evening and get the SUV to the mechanic’s shop the next morning. Apparently whatever has gone wrong is deep within the mechanisms of its driving functions. It’s fixable, of course. It will just take time, money, and someone else’s expertise to make this right.

While I wait for the quote on what the repairs will cost, I’m grateful. Grateful this situation didn’t happen just a few days earlier when I was traveling across the country and on some rather remote roads, with no cell coverage. Grateful it took place at a time when traffic patterns were light and easy – not during rush hour nor while on the way to some important engagement. Grateful our family includes an auto mechanic who is willing to help diagnose the problem on a holiday evening and be a liaison for us through the repair process. Grateful that, while I’m not particularly fond of paying for large (or small) vehicle repair bills, at least I have the resources to do so if needed. Grateful that my trip down the fearful rabbit hole was quite shallow this time. Grateful I can surrender the situation and know there is a higher purpose at work here.

I’m discovering how much easier life is when I accept the “what is” of any holey situation (pun intended). It doesn’t matter if it’s a broken vehicle, an injured relationship, or a resistant attitude. There’s no need to label the situation positive or negative. There is so much of life we have no control over or even influence about, except for how we will respond (react) to it. Sometimes surrender is the only wise option.

In those situations where we do have control or influence, I endeavor to make my choices from a place of strength, courage, peace, and love. We always have the choice to detach any emotional response from what we’re facing and see it for the cosmic experience it is – an opportunity to grow. How difficult the experience becomes is up to us. Suffering is optional.

As I become more successful at staying near the surface of life’s holes, I’ve noticed that they are definitely not as deep nor as scary as they used to be. Some are even totally avoidable unless curiosity takes over. Others are just a passing shadow and warrant only a smile and a wave good-bye…just in time for the arrival of the next growth experience.

 

Y is for Why… Spirituality A to Z

The more I explore the depths and intricacies of the ego-self, the shadow side, the more discoveries I make toward resolving any challenges it presents to my peace of mind.

One question, learned in early childhood by many of us, and that continues to present itself from time to time, is “Why?” At first glance this might be an innocent enough question.  We seek to discover the reasoning or motivation behind an action, behavior or decision. However, the more I’ve explored this question or any answer it might generate, the more I’ve learned that the ego-self will never be satisfied with the response…any response.

No matter how well a person answers “Why?” – there can always be yet another “Why?” that follows…to infinity. It’s the disbelieving child inside each of us that relentlessly pursues such a line of questioning. It’s that part of us that will never be satisfied with disappointment or past mistakes, which is often when “Why?” comes up.

There is NO adequate answer to the question “Why?” that will ever satisfy the ego’s discontent with the past or what is behind us.

Think about it: do we ask this question when everything has gone well and successfully? Do we dare consider any of the bad when all we see is good? It’s only when we have doubts that this question creeps into our consciousness…and then, repeatedly so. It can be very annoying. It also takes a concerted effort to stop this unproductive habit. Rarely is the question directed in support of or to validate a person’s efforts.

The question “Why?” looks primarily at the past, something that has already occurred and apparently requires some type of justification. You can’t do anything about the past anyway. If amends are needed or restitution is required, you can’t go back and do over what was done. If there are corrections to be made, you start in this moment.

Bring yourself into the NOW. Start by asking, “What can I do in this situation?” or “What change can I make in myself to resolve this matter?” or “What’s the next right step for me to make?” Start from where you are. And sure, maybe an apology is needed or doing some forgiveness work. The act of healing can always use a bit of compassion and understanding.

But posing “Why?” in nearly any situation is like rubbing salt in the wound; it just makes matters worse. It’s coming from the ego’s need to be right, to make someone else wrong, or to lay blame and then shine it in a spotlight so someone gets hurt or feels even worse about themselves. What’s the point? Where’s the love and compassion in that?

For your own peace of mind, ask a different question…and have it be one that starts with anything EXCEPT “Why?”  Then see what your ego-self does with that!

X is for “X factor”… Spirituality A to Z

While we may sometimes think of “X” as something to indicate stopping or a form of blockage, the meaning behind “X” has long been for me one of crossing-over or becoming something new. Recently, however, its meaning has reached even more significance. Perhaps you can relate to it as well.

Years ago I learned to use the capital letter “X” to mean “trans” whenever I was taking notes. Thus, words became Xportation, Xlation, Xfix or Xcription. This connotation can also be applied to words such as Xcendence and Xformation.  When I Xition it to the Spiritual realm, the meaning of “X” takes on a more powerful meaning.

The idea of “X” as representing a crossing-over (one form to another) is still apparent in my mind, but there’s something more. I see a movement of thought that is increasingly similar to multiplication. In fact, when I learned the multiplication tables in school, we often used a small “x” to indicate the exponential increase of two numbers. For example, 2 x 3 = 6 or 473 x 29 = 13,717. One little symbol that increases wherever it is applied.

When I use the big “X” to fill in for part of a word, it now represents a larger concept of that word, too. Transcendence (Xcendence) is not just going beyond or rising above, it’s GOING BEYOND!!! RISING ABOVE!! Somehow, using the “X factor” takes the root of the word to a whole new and expansive level.

The same is true for Xformation. There’s a lot more to it than what this word alone implies. I’m talking about a significant and revolutionary evolution that is worth noting. Something new and wonderful is being birthed, whether it’s an idea, a way of doing things, a project or goal, or a new way of expressing in the world. It is a crossing-over from past to future ways of being or form. It’s emerging from what was to what can be. That’s an exciting prospect!

It takes trust and sometimes great courage to initiate change from what has always been to an invisible future possibility of greater proportions. Anytime we add this “X factor” of movement, of going in another direction, we are faced with leaving something behind. That can be a part of us we choose to change, a habit we want to break, or a new way of living we want to experience, leaving behind the old. The cycle of life is apparent everywhere.

What is it for you? What part of you have you been thinking of expanding to a greater degree? Where in your life would you like to see it multiplied by “X”?

The letter “X” is no longer just a couple of well-placed sticks crossing each other. This is a symbol of movement and growth. It can be applied anywhere you can imagine. Play in the realm of possibilities. Your ideas expand in “X” ways and times. Just imagine!

V is for Voice… Spirituality A to Z

When you think of “Voice,” what comes up for you? Is it the “still small voice” of your God-Self within that is first and foremost in your consciousness? Is it the ego-self with its critical overtones that jumps front and center? Or is it a combination of the two, a Spiritually-based yet human voice, desiring to be heard in the world?

One of the things I’ve come to appreciate more is a person’s desire to be heard. I’m sure that is the subconscious force that drives me to write this blog week after week. I’m validated by the blog statistics that show at least a few people have read some portion of these published thoughts… that we have connected on a topic for a few minutes.

My “Voice” or your voice takes many forms. It can be the spoken or written word…photographs…painted canvases… sculptures… music… dance… or reaching out to another through a hug or gentle touch. We express our Divine Nature and human nature in a variety of ways. When we do (and I know this is true for me), it’s validating to get some form of positive acknowledgment in return. It can be empowering, too.

While it would be lovely to have everyone agree with me and all my ideas, the reality is that doesn’t always happen. Yet, knowing I am heard through some form of acknowledgment or response encourages me even more to reach out to those around me…to share more of me…to serve.

This revitalized awareness has also impacted some of the ways I’ve been communicating and increased my efforts in other directions. I recently began a practice that is taking me beyond my routine methods of reaching out. I now write a short letter, a note card in length, to someone…every day. Well, at least five days a week. After I do my morning spiritual readings, add to my growing “gratitude list,” and spend a few minutes in contemplative meditation, I pick up my pen and share a part of me with someone I care about. The act of writing down some interest, viewpoint or recent experience (or memory)…of sharing it with just one person in that moment… becomes very intimate, very connecting.

I get to be with that person in consciousness, to share a common bond. Through this process I’ve discovered a willingness to reveal more of my authentic self. I find that my Voice – the “I AM” part of me – is getting stronger and more confident. I’m learning to trust the God-Nature, my Spiritual Voice, to a greater depth as I recognize the being I’ve become and am becoming. And it’s not about whether I get a response or not, although that would be an added bonus to enjoy.

My gift comes in the moments of connection I feel as I think about that person and share myself, my thoughts, with them. It’s in believing that their day will be uplifted when they open the envelope. My gift also is recognizing I have so many people in my life that I care about.

Other gifts that have come about include: creating time on my calendar to connect with friends and family in person, not just on social media websites; putting down my phone while having a conversation with the person in front of me; even leaving it in another room or turning it off (OMG!) during a social event. I’m feeling less concerned about the “what” of projects, and more interested in “who” is being served. I’m even thinking about taking vacations. Imagine that!

This new Spiritual practice has softened me…and at the same time, strengthened my connection to life. Through giving “Voice” to my authentic God-Self with those I love, I am more receptive to listening to those needing to be heard, wanting love, or desiring recognition and connection. I can do that. You can, too.

O is for Oneness and Oldness … Spirituality A to Z

The idea of Oneness is too important not to mention in an “O” writing, even if the other reference (Oldness) was actually the preferred topic for this piece. Together, they offer a depth and meaning to a Spiritual life that is richer when both are included.

Oneness can be another way of expressing connection…to other humans, to Life itself, to Divine Intelligence. It’s often a word used to describe a person’s relationship to God. In my Spiritual belief, we are all individual­ized expressions of the One Mind. We are each created with all the qualities of God within us. We develop or acknowledge those qualities as we mature on our Spiritual path and livingness in this physical world.

The idea that we are all made from the same “God stuff” – that the same type of cellular structures and processes are present throughout creation – solidifies the concept of Oneness. Regardless of how far back or how deep science investigates, similarities exist enough to show connection. And it is these familiar patterns or substances on which the future is created and from which it evolves. The threads of Life are long, sturdy, and enduring.

It is this type of Oldness that gives credence to Oneness, and that shows up in day-to-day living. For example, when a grandparent creates a special activity with his/her grandchildren, it can be the start of a new annual event for the family. This activity connects the participants in Oneness as a family and a bond is created through this shared event…special only to those involved. This is how memories are created. This is how tradition begins.

Oldness and Oneness are like two pillars of DNA rotating and spiraling through the core of our lives…connecting us by strands of love and DNA_moleculeexperiences. Even if we separate from the past or the familiar, we take some of those strands with us. They’re a part of us that will never be lost. The Oldness gives us the gift of Oneness, the connection to family, to humanity, to Life, and to our God-Self.

The older we get, the more strands of connection we have created. Perhaps that’s why we might sometimes have feelings of sadness at the thought of leaving this Life, or letting go of those who have passed on, or not being able to visit loved ones during holidays, or having a longing for familiar traditions of days gone by. The strands of connection, of Oneness, may get bent, but they never really break. Old memories are as important a link in all of us as our DNA, as the God-stuff that binds us together.

When we recognize how truly connected we are, such awareness breaks down barriers of indifference and judgment, of lack and loss…and opens the portals to Acceptance, Peace, Love, and so much more! The Oldness of God and these enduring Principles tie us together in the Oneness of this Life’s expression…and perhaps, into the next. Nothing is truly lost. And so much more is gained as our consciousness expands and we open our hearts to the ever-evolving possibilities that lie before us.